Dual Review: Total Recall / We Can Remember It For You Wholesale

Time to get this dual review on the road.


Total Recall (2012)



2012's Total Recall is supposedly closer to the Philip K. Dick story than Arnold Schwarzenegger's attempt in 1990.  I'm here now to definitively prove whether that happened here or not.  If you have money on "not," you'll probably win your bet.  Read on and find out.

First, the movie.  It was tough to decide not to make this a "Triple Review" as I could easily have compared Philip K. Dick's short story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale with the aforementioned 1990 version of Total Recall (starring everybody's favorite ex-Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger)  and this 2012 remake starring Colin Farrell.  But instead, I'm going to try to leave Arnold's version out of the discussion (for the most part) and focus on the movie's strengths and weaknesses.  I will fail in my attempt, but I will try to leave 1990 out, just the same.

Ahh...  Total Recall.  It was tough to decide where to start.  You see, the story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale has so much potential, but also so much ground to fill in, due to its brief length and inbuilt shortcomings.  As will become obvious when I get to the meat of that tale, it would be exceedingly difficult to make Dick's story into a movie.  And to do so and make any money would be nearly impossible, I think.  So the filmmakers responsible for this past summer's effort had to do something.  But I happen to think that they took a rather predictable - and ultimately unsuccessful - path.

Where to begin?  A semi-quick summary of the plot might help, for the uninitiated.  Collin Farrell stars as Douglas Quaid, a factory worker who lives in "The Colony," but commutes through the Earth's core to "The United Federation of Britain."  See, everybody else in the world got nearly wiped out during a chemical war, and only peace-loving Australia and Great Britain managed to avoid total decimation. The populace of each entity lives in protected enclaves with hyper-overcrowding and limited resources.  And there is this big elevator called - get this - "The Fall," that links both through the Earth's core.  Why they bothered to make an elevator that links both sides of the Earth through the core when so much more effort could be placed on cleaning up the after-effects of the catastrophic war is not explained.  Obviously it is just too much trouble to reclaim arable land and needed space for people to live comfortably on and much less work to put a great big hole in the ground that leads from one end of the planet to the other.  But I digress.

In the future, Recall will be spelled with a "K."  And you'll find new ways of escapism are just a near-lobotomy away.  No wait, that was like watching parts of 2012's Total Recall!  Maybe the future is nearer than we think. / Source: FreshnessMag.

Where was I?  Oh yes, "The Colony."  This is the lower income side of the world, you see.  But strangely I never heard an Australian accent, even though the map clearly shows that this "Colony" place is flat smack in  Australia.  Mostly we have a lot of SouthEast Asian peoples and associated architecture and whatnot.  But again, this can't be really important, since it is getting in the way of a really cool action sequence to worry too much about why certain people live where they do.  Hang on, I'll get there.

Anyway, Quaid decides his life is boring and wants to go to a memory implantation company  called "ReKall" and get a fake memory of a trip to Mars so he can live out some deep-seated desire to be a secret agent.  But before the memory engrams are installed, the techs realize that - hey! - this guy really is a secret agent.  Guess we don't have to give him memory of something he has already done, now do we?  And then before all this can be sorted out, a SWAT team bursts in and the movie's first action sequence begins.  It won't be the last, or the longest, by any means.

Quaid instinctively fights off the troops, then returns home to his wife, played by Kate Beckinsale.  She attempts to kill him, and another action sequence begins.  We get a cool chase scene, followed by Quaid's escape and the ditching of his "phone."  If you think cell phones have invaded our lives in a massive way at the present, wait until they start implanting them in our hands!

Quaid gets a message from his former self that leads him to start looking for a way to contact a resistance group that isn't crazy about how the Brit side of the world treats the Colony side.  There are more chase scenes, and somewhere along the line Quaid meets up with Jessica Biel's character, who turns out to be part of the Resistance, and also the love of his life.

Before finally finding the head of the Resistance, known as Mathias, we have more action scenes, though none involve Mars, as with the 1990 film.  In one scene that is almost a direct copy from that previous film of 20 yeas ago or so, Quiad is face to face with his best friend, who tells him that he is still in the operating room at ReKall, and all this is just a very vivid hallucination.  And he should kill his new/old girlfriend so the dream can end and he can wake up to reality again.  In the 1990 film, the guy is just some plant who sounds believable, and when Quaid notices the dude is sweating, he decides the flunky must be lying (and summarily shoots him).  But in the new film, Biel's character (I should really look up the character's name, but I'm too lazy, I guess) sheds a tear, and Quaid realizes his subconscious wouldn't make her cry if she was just a figment of his imagination.  Cue in another gun battle after best buddy takes his dose of lead for being a terrible liar.  It is, in my opinion, one of the better changes they made.

Quaid's buddy Harry (played by Bokeem Woodbine).  He'll be taking one for the team, in a minute. / Source: BlackActors.net

Eventually, our heroes make it to the resistance headquarters, but they accidentally brought along the authorities, and even the supreme big boss "El Presidente" shows up too.  He's an ex-general and is at home in these sort of open-fire exchanges, after all.  No soft armchair leaders in this new world, I guess.  Mathias is killed, Quaid is about to be mind-wiped, and Jessica Biel's character is dragged off for questioning.  But at the last second, before Quiad gets his brains scrambled, the fellow who first contacted Quaid after his fight with his would-be wife (Beckinsale, that is) way back in the first third of the movie steps in to save the day.  He's a double-agent, I guess.  Not for long though.  Death is always just a moment away in this harsh new world, you see, as long as you aren't on the marquee poster and your first name isn't Kate, that is.

Then we have this whole plot about how the president guy is sending robot troops through the big through-the-core elevator to wipe out his low paid labor force in "The Colony," and make the world safe for dictatorship.  It's not like he doesn't already have everything; on top of his already sweet deal, he has to make people suffer too.

I'm really belaboring this one, so suffice it to say, there is a big action scene and everything ends up just hunky-dory.  Well, until resources run out for one of the two remaining human enclaves, that is.  But we don't bother to worry about socioeconomic issues or the necessities of supply and demand in this film.  After all, we've just saved the little guy from the boot of big mean British imperial aggression plot.  Who wants to concern themselves with tomorrow?

If you haven't picked it up from my sarcasm so far, I can't say this film did anything more for me than its 1990 predecessor did.  If anything, I thought 2012's Total Recall was a step backward.  Let me explain.

Lots of fancy CGI did not help the plot.  Nor did the inclusion of many somewhat pointless action scenes.  After actually reading the story on which the film is loosely based, I think this could have been much more cerebral, and still quite exciting.  I'm not saying they should have lost all the action and the effects.  When you get to the book section of this review, you'll see that I quite clearly think action/effects have their place in this story.  It's just that 2012's Total Recall is an even worse offender on the "dumb action movie" scale than 1990's version was.  And that's saying something.

What else to mention?  Well, like I said, the action scenes started to feel redundant.  What you've got in the trailer attached above is the best of those sequences.  If they'd kept it to those and skipped the rinse and repeat, they'd have been a bit better off.

Also, I did miss Mars a bit.  It gets a "cameo"-sort of mention, but is thereafter completely absent.  Hey, even Mars played a bigger role in the story by Philip K. Dick.  Leaving it out had it's point, I can see, but I think they could have skipped the whole "elevator through the Earth's core" and had Mars in the film instead and it might have been just as good- er... ok.

The three stars of 2012's Total Recall from an "Entertainment Weekly" photo shoot.  From left to right: Jessica-I'm the hottest one here and I  know it-Biel, Colin-Did I wear the right number of earrings for a publicity shot?-Farrell, and Kate-I can't believe I'm getting paid for this film-Beckinsale. / Source: BadHaven.com

Now for some comparisons with the cast of 2012's movie and the cast of the 90's film.  See, I alluded that I'd get mired in the "old movie vs. new movie" debate.  Oh, and mind you, these are strictly subjective.

Let's get an easy one out of the way, shall we?  Kate Beckinsale vs. Sharon Stone.  My say: Kate for general looks; but for sense of irony at his wife being evil, and overall performance of the one minute loving wife/next minute hateful assassin, Sharon Stone all the way.  Kate was more like a pissed off chic throughout the film, whereas Stone actually seemed loyal and affectionate when she was "putting on" her wifey role.

Now Arnold Swartzenagger vs. Collin Farrell? I'd say Farrell for spryness in running away and in general fight scenes, but Arnie for being able to go "augh aughhh auggghhhh!!"  That whole eyeball swelling as you die of depressurization in the 1990 film was so corny and funny.

Lastly, Rachel Ticotin vs Jessica Biel? I'm gonna go with Biel for looks (about the only thing that can be said for her performance), but Ticotin ("who?" you ask) for everything else.  I think Ticotin's role was more dynamic, based on everything she brought to the table, whereas Biel's performance was pretty generic.



Now here are a few questions I'd like answers to.  For one, why does Mathias's Resistance hangout look like the gassed grounds of Hogwarts? And on that topic, where'd they get all the electricity to run this underground movement? Lot's of computers and electronic equipment in this secret hideout.  Couldn't the authorities track them down by seeing that electricity is going to a place that is supposedly uninhabited because it is out where people aren't supposed to be able to survive, due to the persistent chemical warfare gas being lethal to those unprotected by gas masks?

And while we're on the subject, where are these Resistance fighters really hitting, if anywhere? If the terrorist bombings are all being orchestrated by the Chancellor to make the Resistance look bad (part of the secret plot), where is the Resistance really doing any good, other than the graffiti movement?  We can paint slogans on walls, but that's about it apparently.

Speaking of the gas, by the way, how is it hanging around so long?  I could give you a discourse on why chemical warfare is not as persistent as say, nuclear warfare, and so wrecks the plot here, but I'll spare you the pain, gentle reader.  Needless to say, no current chemical weapons could do what the film represents.  Besides, "CW" (chemical warfare) is not as almost never as lethal, both initially and over time, as radioactive fallout.  Why not use nukes for our story?  Yes, I know it's just a movie, and yes, they may have been trying to be original.  But if they were, they could have done so much more with the film itself.

A few last questions and I'll knock this off and get to the story from Philip K. Dick,  These are some issues with the "Fall," otherwise known as the big elevator going through the planet's core. Why bring in workers to merry old England from the other side of the Earth? Can they really bring enough in on a daily basis to make it worth the cost of operating such an obviously expensive contraption?  I'd say that it'd have to be running almost continuously.  As I alluded to in the body of the review, why be connected at all?

"Hey babe (Beckinsale's husband was the film's director) I'm doing my best intense chase scene face for the camera, even though my career has about as much life in it lately as this CGI-enhanced bozo in the passenger seat." / Source: TheReelist.com

And why not have more robots to do the labor?  There are robot soldiers all over the place, but nobody has thought to program them to do something useful, like clean up the environment, or process garbage, or sell cheap knockoff Barbie dolls at a street-side kiosk or something?  You know, something imminently more useful than carrying a gun and looking menacing?  

Ok, I'm gonna stop now and finish with my typical recommendation criteria.  I saw this in the local "cheap seats," and the question is, was it worth that price, or was it instead worth full price admission at a regular theater, or worth only a video rental from Redbox, or not worth anything at all?  For 2012's Total Recall, my recommendation would be Redbox.  It was amusing at the cheap seats (still in my local "cheap's," as of this writing), but could easily have waited.  Yes, some of the effects looked good on the big screen, but as I've said, the problem was that they relied too heavily on special effects and not heavily enough on the story, which has SO MUCH potential.  Alas, it still hasn't been captured.  Arnold's go didn't do it, Colin Farrell's hasn't, and I don't wonder if they won't try again someday.  We'll see if they ever do capitalize on a great idea, or if it just stays a "ham" of a movie.

Source: Amazon.com

We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, by Philip K. Dick

The question now is - was the original better than the derivative upon which it was based?  Let me tell you about the plot, and then you can decide for yourself.

The basic plot of the story and the movie are fairly  similar.  Let me tell you the differences.  First off, Wholesale is set in the U.S.A.  Not in Hegemonic Britain or "The Colony."  And the protagonist's name is Quail, not Quaid.  I can't say as I mind them changing that.  After all, the name Quail reminds me of former VP Dan Quayle, and picturing him as an action hero makes smoke want to come out of my ears.

What else is different?  "Quail's" wife is not an agent for the police/government.  But she does leave him.  This is a recurring theme in Dick's works.  He seems to have a thing for women who leave.  And not nicely.  I think we can safely assume that Quail's wife in Wholesale doesn't stay friends with Quail, but she certainly doesn't try to kill him, like Beckinsale/Stone in the movies.

Another change?  Quail, in his life as a secret agent (before getting his memory wiped, that is) did kill the resistance's leader.  That's what he went to Mars to do.  And he never fell for a woman.  There was no soft feelings for some pretty face that led him to do the right thing.  He's not a nice fellow when he's a secret agent, this Quail guy.  That is one of the good things about Wholesale.  When Quail is under sedation before his memory implantation, he is cold and calculating, whereas "vanilla" Quail is a nice "regular Joe" sort.

So instead of Sharon Stone/Kate Beckinsale trying to kill him after the botched memory thing at "ReKall," a couple of government goons are there at his home (after his wife leaves him - talk about a tough day) to apprehend Quail.  He's got this chip in his head that lets them keep tabs on him, you see.  There is this funny comment (funny as in ironic/portentous, not funny as in humorous) about how "you can be arrested based on what you've thought" - you know, the variation of the miranda part about "anything you say can be held against you?"

The story's author, Philip K. Dick / Source: GoodReads.com

Also in the story, Quail does run like he does in the movies, but while on the run he has this ongoing conversation through his head implant with the cops, and eventually he agrees to turn himself in.  Turn himself in!  No, I'm not kidding!  Quail says he wants a replacement memory that will allow him to live, and not have secret agent memories.  After all, he did the feds a favor, so they should give him a break, ya know?  And the "G-men" do it!  They actually take him in and prep him for a new memory.  All is forgiven if you know where the skeletons are buried, I suppose.

Here is where the story takes a major turn from the movies, and why making this thing into a film would be difficult and probably quite unprofitable.  The need to get a new memory leads Quail back to "Rekall," but they try to put a hokey childhood fantasy in his head so he'll feel content and not go looking for a secret-agent fix again.  Come to find out, this fantasy they dig out of his subconscious is real.  See, they analyze Quail's brain and see that he has a dream to be a kid who saw a spaceship (nobody else saw it) which disgorged little field mice-sized aliens who plan to destroy the Earth.  He, in child-like innocence, talks them out of it through the power of love.  The aliens agree not to destroy the Earth as long as Quail is alive.  The story ends. Wawawaaa...  Silly serendipity, or a bad Deus Ex Machina, however you want to call it.

A few other points between movie and story.  It was a really short story, incidentally, so that why I'm not calling it a novel, or book, or what-not. 

Well, the receptionist at Rekall in the book is topless, and paints her "decoration" in varying colors.  One day they are blue, the next they are neon pink.  I don't recall (nice pun) the exact hues, but you get the idea.  I suppose Dick was making a commentary on loosening sexual mores and how someday women might change the color of their breasts like they change the color of their socks.  Or maybe he was just a sex-freak.  I dunno.

I gotta say, I don't think Dick imagined this scene when he wrote We Can Remember It For You  Wholesale.  Then again, the directors of both the 1990 film and the one shown above took off on some real thin ideas he wrote in the original story.  Like the three-breasted hooker, for instance (picture not shown, go look it up if you're that curious).  The receptionist from ReKall had painted parts, not three parts.  I guess that's progress for ya. / Source: EmpireOnline.com

The change between the movie and the story as far as the actual memory thing is another difference to note.  In the movie (2012 version), Quaid isn't even administered the meds.  They make a big deal over how he can't actually have memories similar to what they want to implant, or it will cause a major mental imbalance.  And here is the catch, so to speak.  Wholesale seems like an idea that was only partially formed.  Especially because it ends on such a ridiculous "O Henry"-like ending.  The fake memory on top of fake memory thing.  He's not just a secret agent, he's the savior of the world.  Since the aliens won't destroy the planet as long as he lives, that is.  That sort of thing.  The movie, on the other hand, fails to truly capitalize on this idea that a major mental break could occur if he gets fake memory and real (but repressed) memory mixed up.  Here is where I think the two failed (three, if you count the 1990 movie).

In Wholesale, Quail gets seated for his mind-implant, turns into a different sort of person (all hard and steely) and tells the techs at Rekall that he doesn't want his cover blown and they should knock it off.  They comply, but try to keep half his money.  He goes back later to complain, because he has odd half-memories of his trip, which was in point of fact quite real.  In the movie, they just say how he can't have dual memories, and he never gets implanted.  It just degrades into a chase/fight/CGI mess from there, when the SWAT team busts in.

Where the movie could have taken a good idea with somewhat dubious execution (Wholesale's cliche's and corney parts, like the cops who sound straight out of a '50s detective novel, and let's not forget the silly ending!) would be to have our protagonist Quaid/Quail/whatever-his-name-is actually get mixed memories in his head.  And don't ruin it by telling the audience he really is a secret agent.  Let us wonder if he's having a psychotic break, or if he really did what they "planted" in his head.  But nobody has done that with this story yet.  Not even the original author, Philip K. Dick.  That is disappointing to me.  This could be a real psychological piece, and make the audience feel off balance.  Instead, the original story relies on the idea of "how clever am I?" from the author, and the movie(s) rely on action and special effects.  Neither does the job, in my opinion.

Bottom line, Dick's story is short and has potential, but it is kinda dull and the ending is too obnoxious to be adequately described.  On the other hand, the film takes too many liberties, and relies too heavily on special effects and pointless action sequences that barely move the plot along for all the time they take up.  If I had to recommend one or the other, I'd say read the story, as it is short and interesting (though not without flaws, of course).  And see the movie if you have nothing better to do and don't have to pay much to do so.

Learn more about Total Recall/We Can Remember It For You Wholesale by Philip K. Dick, on Amazon.com

The parting comment:

Source: Airliners.net

The Dark Lord rises.

A two-for on parting comments today!

Source: Imgur.com

Speaking of threes, apparently Target has decided to sell sweaters with three arms.  For all those guys out there with, you know... three arms.  "Honey, is that your hands on my shoulder and on my hip?  Oh you.  So cute."